Dijana Llugolli takes us through the number one life rule that helps to avoid stress and to live a more mindful life.
How I’ve got to 5:5 and more importantly, how 5:5 will serve you!
Stress. We all have met this popular killer in one form or another. Whether as health issues, panic attacks, bad business decisions or the common “I can’t do this anymore” feeling which rears its ugly head from time to time. On top of this any kind of negative emotions; anger, jealousy, resentment, fear etc. are those common signs of inner stress, and let me tell you what you probably already know, stress is the highest killer disease of 21st Century and its showing no signs of slowing down. In this piece what I want to share with you is my life rule which I believe can be your guidance towards ultimate health, happiness, and freedom.
“When you Love yourself unconditionally is Health, Enjoying your work is Happiness and living life on your own terms is Freedom.
But let’s start at the beginning and I’ll serve you with a quote that kept me alive when the storm came. “Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest!” At the beginning of 2013, we packed our belongings, my husband, me, our 5-year-old and 40 days old daughters to pursue our dreams and to start our new dream life. Away from little cozy Ljubljana, Slovenia to the big cosmopolitan Stockholm, Sweden. To put it in context, the whole of Slovenia has exactly the same population as Stockholm. I was accepted to Stockholm University as an Erasmus Postgraduate student and I was so excited and so enthusiastic about literally EVERYTHING. A little girl’s dream come true. At the same time as I was studying I was also on maternity leave which came to an end in December 2013, just when our second daughter turned one. This gave us a year to figure out our next move. So we found a beautiful house, moved to an amazing area 20 km from Stockholm, my husband started working, I finished my studies and began trying to find a job and felt super excited.
2014 was about to be the year of a turning point and that’s exactly what it was – a bad turning point, a rock bottom turning point.
My husband lost his job and I sent out 2800 job applications to only receive five answers – “We apologize but you don’t qualify as you don’t speak Swedish!” I should mention I have a background in HR as a recruiting specialist (I could literally teach anyone to write CVs) and was previously a project manager for digitalization with an entrepreneurial background and six languages in my pocket. Then in addition to that, a postgraduate student from one of the best Business Schools in the world – Is not qualified? Something needed to be done, fast, as we had a pretty expensive house to pay for and two kids to feed. So, I found a job as a cleaning lady. Staying positive I tried to focus on learning the language, getting to know the culture, the city and trying to find a job in my field as soon as possible. Days, weeks, months went by and I became more and more miserable and more and more depressed. Is this what I came for? Is this why I left my parents, my siblings, relatives, best friends, my well-paid job. Did I really move 2500 km to be cleaning toilets? And the worst part, I couldn’t even recognize myself, I lost my sparkle, my mojo, my purpose and worst: I was absolutely the most horrible mom and wife who couldn’t love herself and therefore, didn’t have much love for anyone else. For almost a full year I felt sorry for myself, I was stressed and completely out of this world. Everyone kept telling me, the beginning is the hardest, it will get better. But when I would ask?
But then in a chance meeting, I trusted a stranger (who is now one of my biz besties, kick-ass mentor and a person who believed I could get back my mojo.) I made a decision – to join a network marketing company, a bit like Avon in the UK.
“If you are Brave enough to say Goodbye, Life will reward you with New Hello” by Paulo Coehlo.
Two weeks after I started working I even got a job as a language teacher which was absolutely the most fulfilling job I ever had, and then a few months later I was even pregnant with my 3rd child after having IVF with the second daughter … Yes, a life-changing decision it was.
The next three years were about personal development, growth mindset and transformation. I spent around three years doing network marketing, we even launched a pancake business for my husband but we were still really struggling with pressure, stress and many many challenges while balancing both life and business. I started to practice meditation and mindfulness, with a goal to be a more present mom, to be with my kids whenever they needed me, conscious and stress free.
Mom of 3, entrepreneur, part-time teacher, wife, friend, volunteer, daughter … it was a lot and to balance all of these roles and to keep myself on the top of the game I needed to let go of some old patterns of perfectionism, self-judgment, and fear so I could tap into my true calling. That’s when I rebranded, restarted, relaunched and upgraded my network marketing business to Wellness and Business Coaching. There were always doubt gremlins but once I realised that nothing really matters, except the things that will effect me far beyond in the future which I wanted for myself, I was completely Fearless and Successful.That is also the name of my incredible Facebook community for females who are my drive to serve them so they can dream BIG, plan for Success and Impact the world. So get joining!
And that was also the moment when the 5:5 rule was born.
“Don’t spend more than 5 minutes on things that won’t matter in 5 years.”
To work under your own terms, without stress while balancing life and business, having a clear vision, strong mission, a massive action plan and guts to pursue your dreams is a MUST. You must realise that in order to become the person who you aspire to be and be able to pursue your LIFE purpose, you need to let go of everything that is holding you back and will not have any significance in your future.
Here are the steps to apply 5:5 rule:
- Whenever you are worried, stressed and have any kind of negative emotions – ask yourself – Will this situation you are stressed about still be important in 5 years?
- YES – Then immediately stop worrying and ask for help or seek solutions.
- NO – Slam the door, scream in the paper bag, punch a bed for 5 minutes and LET IT GO. Stop complaining about it.
- Stop thinking about it. Take a BIG DEEP breathe IN on 7, wait for 5 and breathe out on 7. Do 3 repeats and you will feel so much better.
It may sound simple and indeed it is. You don’t need to be in control of your emotions but you need to know how to handle them. Remember, if you are proactive and not lead by your emotions, then you will rarely find yourself in a stressful situation. But if you do, follow the steps I mentioned and always believe that the universe has bigger plans for you and all this will seem way less important when you get a good sleep, a nice pampering, a massage or any kind of act of self-love. Or if you’re short of time, just take deep big breathe. That definitely helps.
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